Oscar loves Ike
by Icy Sapphire15
Summary: A very misleading title, it's actually a weird little one shot brought on by boredom and an evil plot bunny. Yeah...Contains OscarIke and BoydRhys. I said it was weird, don't give me that look. Due too the rabidness of my plot bunnies, has been turned int
1. Oscar

A/N: I borrowed FE:PoR. In my first game, I lost Boyd and Rhys. Then I got pissed and I started resetting whenever someone died. Anyway, when Boyd died, I got this scene in my mind...Yeah...then I got bored in a hour and half of Study Hall without anything to do. Thus, this fic was born. I forgot when Boyd died, so I made it the first Defend stage; you know, the one where you're defending the mercenaries fort.

Warnings: Shonen-ai, angst(slight), death, all that good stuff...

Disclaimer: I don't even own my own copy of FE:PoR. What makes you think that I own all these lovely little bishis?

* * *

When Boyd died, Oscar was saddened. He grieved for his brother, but kept himself busy with his duties and caring for Rolf. Death was bound to come for any member of the mercenary company at any time. Such is the life of the sell-sword. Boyd and Oscar had known the risks when they joined the company, but the need for a home to raise the then baby Rolf in was strong. With the Greil Mercenaries, they'd found a home, of sorts, and love, of sorts.

Boyd's fancy had been captured by a certain red-haired healer. Alas, Rhys had been killed fighting some bandits who'd taken Rolf and Mist, Ike's kid sister, hostage.

Ike, Commander Greil's blue haired son, was a strong swordsman. His father had been grooming the young man to be his successor since Ike could hold a sword. Oscar was intrigued by Ike, and not because of his unusual, and rather good, looks. Yes, Oscar is bisexual and had come to peace with that fact a long time ago. But no, Ike had aroused his curiousity for many reasons. His deterimination to keep everyone safe, his leadership skills, his naivety, just to name a few qualities. Gradually, Oscar had come to love the younger man.(1)

Oscar was fairly sure that Ike was straight as a piece of paper, so he was surprised when Ike approached him the night Boyd died. There had been a knock on Oscar's door when he was finishing some packing and getting ready to sleep. "Hold on a moment!" He called, carelessly tossing a dagger he was holding onto his bed. Opening his door, he say the top of a bright blue head. "Ike? Come in!" He hastily invited, afraid that Ike had found out about his feelings and was disgusted with him.

Ike obediently walked behind Oscar and into his room. He however, wouldn't sit down as Oscar had gestured him too. Oscar merely shrugged and remained standing, shifting from foot to foot nervously.  
"I...I'm so sorry Oscar." Came a broken whisper from the blue haired commander-in-training.  
"Sorry? For what?" Needless to say, Oscar was confused.  
"It's all my fault." Ike choked on a sob.  
With dawning realization, Oscar tilted Ike's lowered head up to meet his eyes. He stifled a gasp, seeing those normally happy orbs were luminescent with tears. "No, Ike, don't blame yourself." He tried to console a crying Ike, holding him tenderly and rubbing soothing circles on his back.  
"Yes it is. It was my poor leadership skills that got your brother killed. If the Commander had been there, he wouldn't have died."  
Oscar looked at Ike and wiped the tears in his eyes away with his thumb. "Stop blaming yourself. Rolf doesn't blame you and neither do I. Boyd would understand; we both knew the risks of mercenary life when we joined. Now go get some sleep. We'll be leaving as soon as the Commander gets back. Giving Ike a gentle kiss on the forehead, he steered the young man out into the hallway and made sure Ike was in bed.  
That being done, he returned to his own room to finish getting ready for bed.

* * *

"Titania, where is everybody?"  
Oscar heard Titania fidget, obviously not wanting to tell Ike that Shinon and Gantrie had left. Soren was the one to break the news to him, just as Oscar walked in. "I'm sorry Ike. I couldn't convince them to stay." Shame flooded Oscar, shame for failing his love and his commander.

Ike sighed. "It's not your fault they left Oscar. You did your best, I'm sure. They just didn't want to risk almost certain death under an inexperienced commander. And I don't blame them. The question is, where do you all stand?"

Everyone unanimously agreed to stay. After Titania had offered what reassurance she could about Ike not being inexperienced, everyone left. Everyone but Oscar that is. Oscar walked over to Ike and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know Mist's been taking your father's death poorly; Rolf's been sitting with her. Tell me Ike, how have you been handling the death of your father?"  
Ike looked up with a weary smile and replied, "When Boyd died, you taught me mourning for a dead person won't bring him or her back. So I'm not." He hastily stifled a yawn. "In fact, my respect for him keeps growing as I discover more and more duties my position demands."  
Oscar returned the smile and replied, "I believe that night I also told you to go to bed. The same applies here. We can handle any emergencies that may arise. And you need your beauty sleep." He teased.  
Ike gave Oscar an odd look. "You look like you could use a nap too. You're paler than normal and there are huge bags under your eyes."  
Oscar shrugged, deciding that Ike really didn't need to know how he'd stayed up most of the night with Mist, when he wasn't on watch, so Rolf would go to bed.

* * *

A couple hours later, Oscar- still tired and fighting back yawns- shook Ike awake. "Shhhhhh, Ike. I could hear you screaming from Mist's room. Whatever it was, it was only a nightmare." He sat down next to Ike on the camp cot.  
"Oscar...it was horrible! I say my father's death all over again and then I saw the Black Knight kill you and Mist and Soren and everyone else!" Ike clung to Oscar desperatly and once again, Oscar found himself comforting a distraught Ike.  
"Shhhhh, it's OK." He murmmered nonsense words and slowly, Ike began to calm down.  
"I...I think I'm all right now. Thank you Oscar."  
Oscar nodded to show he had heard and acknowledged Ike's thanks as he yawned, covering his mouth guiltily.  
"Oscar, when did you last sleep?"  
'It only took a little yawn to bring Ike to full business mode,' Oscar mused. "This morning?" He lied. He was fine. Besides, there was still so much to do to help Ike get used to his new position. He could sleep later.  
Ike looked at Oscar, took in the still too pale skin, the even bigger bags and the fact that he looked liable to fall asleep any second.  
"Don't lie to me. When was the last time you slept?"  
Looking down, Oscar replied quietly, "The night Commander Greil died."  
"WHAT! You only got two hours of sleep in two days! I don't care what you say, you're sleeping at least another two hours." Ike ordered.  
"But, I'm on watch for Titania so she can sleep and I promised Rolf I'd take care of dinner tonight so Mist wouldn't have to deal with it and..." Oscar's feeble protests were cut off by Ike's look of doom.  
"I said I don't care what you say and I mean it." Ike's eye softened. "I need you Oscar. Please, get some sleep. For me."  
Oscar nodded in aquiesence and started to get up, but a tug on his wrist stopped him. "No. Use my bed. That way I know where to find you to make sure you're obeying my orders."  
Oscar sat back down and pulled the daggers from his hips and his boot out of concealment and placed them on the ground within easy reach. By them, went his boots.  
"Now remember, no less than two hours of sleep." Ike reminded him as Oscar drifted into some much needed sleep.

* * *

Oscar awoke suddenly to feel a soft pair of arms holding him close to a warm, living body. He was not surprised to find he was trembling and there was a faint sheen of sweat on his brow. He sat up properly, on his own as the arms released their grip on him. Looking down into his lap, he blushed and apologized. "I'm sorry for pulling you away from your duties Ike, for a mere nightmare."  
Ike tilted Oscar's pink face up to his own. "Don't be. I was coming to check in on you anyway; I just sped up when I heard your moans. From the sounds of things, I wouldn't say it was a mere nightmare."  
Oscar didn't pull away when Ike silently offered him comfort, pulling Oscar into his embrace again. "Relax. You're still shaking. Do you want to talk about it?"  
Oscar nodded. "In my dream, I was asleep. We all were. I can only assume that at this point you went out alone to challenge the Black Knight who killed your father. I woke up, in my dream, when the Black Knight came into the castle where we are staying bearing your severed head. Titania and Soren were enraged and blindly attacked him. They were killed effortlessly. Even though Mia and I tried to protect the Princess, Rolf and Mist, he still killed everyone of them. He tortured them one by one, starting with Mia and ending with Rolf. He made me watch." Oscar's violent shaking increased as he retold the nightmare that had caused him such terror. "The Black Knight tossed your head at my feet and rode off. He left me alive to bury the dead and mourn them, alone. That's when I woke up."  
Ike pulled Oscar closer still and held him, as Oscar had once held him. "That explains why I heard you moaning, 'Please not him, take me and spare him.'" Ike simply held Oscar close, soothing him and gradually stopping the tremors that still racked his body.  
"Thank you Ike." Oscar pulled away gently from Ike's comfort. It was one luxery he wouldn't let himself have. "How long was I sleeping?"  
"Two hours. And think nothing of it. I still owe you."  
"You don't owe me a thing Ike. I serve you."  
"Nonsense. I still have a debt to you. If you hadn't been so understanding of my guilt when Boyd died, I probably would be worse off." He gave Oscar a soft kiss on the forhead. "There, for good luck and pleasent dreams."  
Bending down to pull on his boots, retrieve his daggers and hide his growing blush, Oscar was once again trapped by Ike. Ike informed him, "From the sounds of that nightmare, you didn't get a very restful sleep. Nap for a little while longer. Soren told me I need more sleep. It seems he and Mia and Titania have everything under control. Maybe we can keep the nightmares away by sharing a bed. Who knows?"

Ike lay back down and with a soft tug, had Oscar lying down in front of him. Smiling a smile no one would ever see, he let himself drift off again. 'After all,' was his last thought, 'I can always make a quick meal when I wake up.'

* * *

Up in Heaven, Boyd twined an arm around Rhys's waist. Looking down at Oscar and Ike sharing a restful sleep, Rhys wrapped an arm around Boyd's waist as they watched what would prove to be a strong and loving relationship.

* * *

A/N: Whew, that was long. OK, quick clarification:  
(1) One of my reviewers on turquoisefox, told me Oscar's real age! Many thanks, my fellow fangirl.  
This is the edited version, which will make it's debute on ff as soon as they let me log in and post it. Frickin' a-holes...-wanders off grumbling to herself- 


	2. Ike

-cuddling an old, ratty looking teddy bear- n.n –sniffles-

Oscar: -approaches IS warily- What's wrong?

-sniffles again and hugs her teddy bear closer- Oscar, why did Haku-san and Zabuza-san have to die?

Oscar: Huh?

Ike: She was watching reruns of Naruto and it was the last of the Wave Country Arc.

Oscar: Oh. IS, will it make you feel better if I do the disclaimer?

-looks up from cuddling her teddy bear- No. But will you still do it?

Oscar: No.

Fine, I'll do it then.

DISCLAIMER: Me no own Oscar, or Ike, or anyone mentioned here, unless it's something like "Daein Soldier #X" Otherwise, you no sue. I have no moneys nor do I have a job so you'll just get…my notebooks…No one want those.

Warnings: Angst (kinda), yaoi, shonen-ai, erm…that's all I think. XD

ONWARD READERS! Is anyone even reading this?

Oscar: I don't know.

* * *

The first thing Ike noticed when he woke up was that he was curled into a ball and there was no comforting warmth that he'd fallen asleep beside. That and something smelled really good. Sitting up in the bed and blinking, he saw that someone- presumably Oscar- had covered him with a light blanket and had left a bowl of whatever smelled so tasty next to him. Lying beside the bowl was a thick slice of bread, holding down a scrap of parchment. Still thinking rather slowly, even for Ike, he pulled the scrap free and puzzled over it. Seeing there was actually writing on it, he scanned it once and reread it. Wondering why the note made him feel sad and lonely, Ike read the message over a third time.

The note itself was succinct and simply read:

_Ike-_

_Here's some stew and bread. You looked like you really needed the sleep you were getting so I tried hard not the disturb you when I leaving, nor when I was bringing the food._

_-Oscar_

Ike hungrily devoured the food had been left for him by Oscar. Picking up his dishes, he had just started for the kitchen when he heard Mia, who he assumed was on watch, cry out, "THE DAEIN'S ARE ATTACKING!" Cursing, Ike turned on his heel and ran to make sure the Princess, Mist and Rolf were safe. He never noticed the clatter of the wooden dishes hitting the stone floor. After making sure the three of them were safe, Ike ran out to meet his mercenaries were waiting outside for him. "Commander. What do you want us to do?" Titania asked. Ike bit his lip. He had no idea what to do next. His father would know…his father who would defend every member of the company to death…Wait that gave him an idea.

"Everyone, we'll defend the entrances. There are five of us and three entrances. Soren, you and Mia go to the Western entrance. Titania, you take the Eastern entrance. I'll take Oscar and defend the Southern entrance. Go!"

Instantaneously, everyone scattered into place. Oscar had one of his lances clutched tight in a mailed fist and Ike thanked Goddess he'd grabbed his own light chain mail and sword before going to drop off his dishes. Taking in Oscar's haggard face, he did a quick check on the enemy's positions. Seeing they were still advancing, he seized the moment. "Oscar! How long was I asleep?" He shouted over the din of the advancing army.

"About five hours?" Oscar yelled back.

"And how long were you asleep…?" He asked, fixing Oscar with a look.

Oscar squirmed under his scrutiny. "Around an hour and a half…" He mumbled, clearly hoping not to be heard.

As it turns out, Oscar had no such luck. "OSCAR! ARE YOU NUTS!" Ike exploded, missing Oscar's quiet answer of, "No…I'm not nuts, I just couldn't stand spooning with you and you being so…oblivious." Of course, at that moment, the Daeins attacked so maybe Ike shouldn't be faulted too much.

After a couple hours of fighting, the Daeins pulled back. Ike, thinking they were temporarily safe, started to call for a meeting in the middle of the sorry-looking courtyard when the Daeins charged again. "STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" He screamed desperately, backpedaling to get back to Oscar's side.

And so the fighting raged on. Ike was beginning to feel the effects of fighting so hard and could only imagine how bad Oscar must be feeling. Everyone had seemed to have gotten some rest, but Oscar seemed to be the worst off.

It was because Ike was worrying so much about Oscar that he almost missed the arrow aimed his way. Only Oscar's frantic yell of "Ike!" and the sensation of being shoved registered, as well as Oscar's cry of pain when the arrow 'thunked' into his shoulder. At almost the same time, the swordsman Oscar had been fighting took advantage of his opponent's distraction and sliced deep into his thigh.

Oscar pitched sideways off of Holly (1), his mount, and would've hit the ground if Ike hadn't caught him. "Oscar? Oscar!" he screamed. Sending Holly skittering back into the courtyard with a sharp slap on the flank, he quickly slew the nearby Daeins and called, "Fall back! Fall back into the courtyard!"

The Daeins retreated, probably taking advantage of the distracted and fatigued mercenaries to rest themselves and heal. 'After all,' Ike thought bitterly, 'they have healers.' As he jogged back, finding the sudden energy to help his friend, he went to meet his huddled band of mercenaries. Double-checking to make sure the Daeins weren't following and everyone was assembled, he set down Oscar's inert body gently. "Men…and women…" he started, with a wary look at Titania and Mia, "Here's the situation. Oscar is down. We'll leave our posts at the entrances in favor of clustering around the entrance to the fort. Soren, you'll be in front of the door. I don't think I have to remind you that you will be our last line of defense. Titania, you and Mia will be with me in front of Soren."

"Ike, it's a good plan, but what will we do with Oscar? He's out cold and that bleeding needs to be stopped." Titania asked, worried about her fellow knight and mercenary.

Ike raked a hand through his already wild hair. "Ummmmmm…I'll bind his wounds now. Soren, Titania and Mia, cover us.

The girls nodded and stepped to either side while Soren hurried back to the doorway, between and behind the females.

Ike meanwhile picked Oscar up off the ground where he had been lying, bleeding in the dirt, and brought him to a secluded corner. "If the Daeins get this far, they won't find you here." He reassured himself as he propped Oscar into a sitting position against an ivy covered wall. Rapidly tearing off a strip from his sweaty undershirt, he efficiently bound Oscar's strong thigh. Realizing that his hand had been lingering too long on the skin he'd exposed, Ike snatched his hand back. A blush was forming on cheeks as he tore off another strip of shirt for Oscar's shoulder. "Come on Ike, get it together. Everyone is depending on you, the new commander. Don't get distracted now. Oscar, this is going to hurt." He directed this last comment at his still unconscious friend. Bracing himself against the wall, Ike yanked the arrow from Oscar's body. "Thank Ashera it came out without breaking. I'm only so good at healing." He muttered irately. The lack of response from Oscar during the whole ordeal left him worried. Ike took a few seconds to check for a pulse. Reassured, he wondered what it would be like to snuggle up to that muscular body and listen to that heartbeat. Ike mentally groaned and began to mentally scold himself. 'IKE! Stop thinking about Oscar like that. He may be a loyal member of your band but that does NOT mean he likes you like that.' The fact that they were both men didn't even make an appearance in his thoughts. Not only was Crimea blessed by peace, but they were exceedingly open. Men and other men were not common, but neither was it scorned.

It was with these thoughts dancing in his brain, and generally making merry Hell, that Ike hurried back to meet his fighters.

"Boss! How's Oscar?" Mia inquired She looked worried and generally concerned for Oscar. Ike speculated idly if she would be a rival in getting Oscar. 'Wait…getting? Ike, we've discussed this. Oscar is not your property and will not be acquired.' "I bound his wounds and there appeared to be no infection. He has a strong heartbeat. He's still unconscious though."

Mia looked upset and said in a small voice, "Oh. Thank you."

Ike was about to try and comfort her when Titania warned, "Commander, they're coming. I guess they got enough rest and/or the healers took care of the wounded."

"Thank the Goddess for small miracles." Ike said under his breathe. "Form up! Come on, they're attacking. We won't be beaten."

As the small group readied themselves for the final attack, a roar was heard. Two wildcats and a lion charged, slaying the Daeins and scattering the survivors. When they reached the overtly frightened group, the laguz, as they revealed themselves to be, transformed into a pair of blue haired males and a pretty orangehead. One of the males was practically a giant and the other was slight.

It was the slight man that stepped forward and introduced himself. "I am Ranulf." He pointed to two others. "They are Mordecia and Lethe." Ranulf went on to explain why they were here and how King Gallia had requested the trio to fetch the group. He concluded by asking, "How soon are you able to travel?"

Ike took in his rag-tag crew. "Give us a couple of hours to recuperate and we'll be ready to go. If you'll excuse me, I have to fetch someone. I'll be back shortly." On that note, Ike made a hasty retreat to check on Oscar.

When Ike reached Oscar's little hidey-hole, he found a very disoriented Oscar looking around. It had been about ten minutes since Ike had left Oscar in the corner in hopes he'd stay safe and Oscar had clearly returned to consciousness. "Ike? What am I doing here? How did I get here? And why does everything hurt?"

"Yeah, it's me." Ike answered automatically. "What do you remember Oscar?"

Oscar blinked. "I remember fighting and seeing you were in trouble. But that's it for the immediate time frame."

Ike nodded. "That sounds about right. You are at least mostly psychologically healthy. You took an arrow in the shoulder for me and a swordsman sliced into your thigh at the same time. That's why everything hurts. I brought you here to keep you safe from the battle, because we were still fighting the Daeins."

"Were?"

"Erm…I don't trust myself to explain properly without getting some rest, so you'll just have to see for yourself."

"OK. I trust you Ike. Is Holly OK?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Tired, but fine."

"Oh good. I'm sleepy Ike, but I suppose I have to go back to the fort, don't I?"

"It's no wonder you're tired, you insomniac! You don't sleep and you're wounded. I'm really not surprised you're tired. If…" Ike paused, the rushed on, "If you want I can carry you back to the fort so you can sleep."

Oscar paused, then smiled and answered, "I'd like that. Thank you."

Ike slipped one arm under Oscar's slim hips and the other under his shoulders. Carefully avoiding his wounds, Ike started back to the fort and his troops.

Mia stared in shock as Ike carried Oscar back to where everyone had gathered, including Rolf and Mist. Ike took their stares gamely, realizing that despite his best efforts, Oscar had started bleeding heavily and makeshift bandages were turning a bright red fast. Mia wasn't staring because of the bleeding however; while Oscar slept, he had apparently snuggled into the warmth that Ike's body gave off. Ike did his best to suppress a growing blush as Mia stared. And stared. And stared some more. It did feel nice to have Oscar so close to his chest though.

"AHHHH! OSCAR!" Rolf screamed as he caught sight of his brother. Ike guessed the blood on both of them might be a bit disturbing to the boy. He was only a kid really, and had lost one of his brothers as it was. Titania had to grab Rolf to prevent him from rushing to Oscar's side.

"It's OK Rolf, Oscar's alive. He was awake a minute earlier, but he went back to sleep." Ike reassured Rolf, trying to calm the youngster down.

"Are…are you sure? There's an awful lot of blood on the bandages." Rolf looked up at Ike with teary eyes, desperately seeking support that he wouldn't lose his other brother too.

"I'm sure."

Rolf shocked everyone by turning around and bursting into tears. Turning around, he began to sob on Titania's shoulder. While she tried to stop Rolf's sudden tears, Elincia came out of the fort with some healing supplies for the lesser wounds of the group. She was too well bred to scream, despite the amount of blood adorning both Ike and Oscar, although she did look very worried. She clapped both hands to her mouth and exclaimed, "My Lord Ike! What happened to Sir Oscar?"

"He was wounded in the battle. All he needs is some time to heal properly and rest, since we don't have a healer any longer." Ike looked around at his exhausted group. "I know we're all tired, but as soon as I bind Oscar's wounds more thoroughly, do you think…?" He let the question hang in the air.

"Yes, we can leave as soon as you're ready Ike." Soren answered for the group.

"Thank you." Looking around at the mercenaries under his command, Ike felt a rush of gratitude for them. These guys were willing to put up with everything he asked of them, provided it was within human capabilities. That was loyalty.

Ike gently put Oscar down and began to undo the bandages he had temporarily put around Oscar's injuries. He looked at the hole the arrow had made with regret. If he hadn't been so distracted, Oscar wouldn't have saved him and would have neither injury. But that was neither here nor there and so Ike shook his head and continued to care for Oscar. Mia peeped over his shoulder and sucked in her breathe upon seeing Oscar's body. Maybe it was the fact that to properly bind Oscar's shoulder, he'd removed the other mans armor and tunic. Maybe Mia was simply shocked at how Oscar's wounds really were. Ike reverently hoped it was the latter reason that Mia was being all stare-y.

"Ike…is Oscar really going to be OK?" She asked quietly. Titania had just gotten Rolf to stop crying and was distracting him with some packing.

"Of course he is Mia. Why would you ask?"

"Oh…no reason. I'd better go pack." Mia quickly ran off, but not before Ike could see the tell-tale blush forming on her cheeks.

* * *

Some time later, when the group was on the road, Mordecia approached Ike. "Ike," the giant began, "You are weary. Let me carry your friend." Seeing Ike's apprehensive look, he added, "I'll be careful, but you need a break little one."

Ike saw the wisdom of Mordecia's words and reluctantly handed over Oscar's inert form. He felt lighter and was less careful of where he stepped. He didn't have to worry about jarring an injured comrade and that made the going a lot easier. Ike kept an eye on Mordecia, who true to his word was very careful with Oscar. Consequentially, when their guides stopped, Ike ran into Soren, who had the luck of being in front of him. "Oof, sorry Soren. Wasn't paying attention." He apologized sheepishly.

Soren just rolled his eyes and Ranulf resisted the urge to do the same. "Welcome to Castle Gallia." He proclaimed.

* * *

Up in Heaven, Rhyes cuddles Boyd close to him as the pair lounged on a cloud. Boyd was nearly sick with worry over Oscar's condition even though Rhyes kept assuring him, that yes, Oscar would be fine. He was a healer after all and Oscar's wounds, with the care they were receiving would be fine.

"Are you sure that Oscar will be fine?" Boyd asked for the twentieth time.

"Yes I am sure." Rhyes once again told his lover. The eyes pleading with his still didn't look convinced and Rhyes leaned down to plant a feather-light kiss on the lips of the owner of the eyes. "Trust in your brother. He's stronger than you're giving him credit for being."

"I know, I know…I just can't help but worry."

"Don't." More kisses were exchanged among a pair of watchers as the Greil Mercenaries made their way into Gallia.

* * *

Ike: Awww, Oscar, look at this. –points to IS sleeping on the keyboard-

Oscar: She looks so innocent when she's not busy torturing us.

Ike: What's this? –reads a note written on the computer screen-

Dearest Readers:

I formally apologize for any and all typos and spelling errors in names and the like. And the shortness and over-all bad-ness at kissing scenes and action scenes and the entire chappie. I'll fix it in the morning when I'm more awake. And (1) Holly was the name of a horse at the stables where I used to ride.

Love and kisses, IS.

P.S. Please R&R, but if you don't I won't hold it against you.

Oscar: Hey Ike, now's our chance to sneak away.

Mysterious voice: Like hell. You're staying right here, or else the little scene between me and my boyfriend at the end goes away.

Ike and Oscar: It's...


End file.
